Gifting A Legend To This City of Rookies!
Translator: Sine Nomine
Editor(s): Darkdhaos, Deus Ex-Machina, YuNS, BlitzBlast
For Alternate version by BlitzBlast, click here
“Hey, Aqua! What is going on!?”
In the Axis Cult Church at the suburbs.
I heard they were here to prepare for tonight’s festival, so I rushed over and shouted angrily at Aqua, who was having a toast with Cecily.
“Oh. Kazuma, what is it? Why are you panicking?”
Aqua held her wine glass and caressed the head of the chick on her knees, like those antagonists always did in the movies.
Cecily was standing next to her as if she was a maid attending to her master.
“I see, so Kazuma smelled a banquet and came over for food, right? It can’t be helped. Although Kazuma is not an Axis Cultist, he has some credits this time. Come, sit by my side. I will share some yakisoba with you.”
Aqua said casually and took out the small plates.
“Fool! Now is not the time to eat! What is the meaning of this!?”
I flashed the proposal that I took from Darkness before her nose.
“Eh. Isn’t this my proposal? ‘Firstly, from next year onwards, change the festival name to Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival and disassociate it with Eris Cult. Secondly, relax the restriction on Tokoroten Slime…’ Hey, I don’t remember writing the second one!”
“I wrote the second point, Aqua-sama! I worked hard this time. I think I deserve a reward!”
“I see. Fine. So? What’s wrong with this?”
“Fine your head! Lots of things are wrong I’m asking you what are you intending to do with this!”
Faced with my rage, Aqua started to whisper with Cecily who was beside her.
“Why do you think Kazuma is so angry? Is it because we didn’t invite him to our celebration?”
“No, Aqua-sama. It must be because we didn’t include his wishes when we wrote the proposal.”
Aqua nodded in acknowledgement and swiftly wrote something on the proposal before handing it over.
“Thirdly, from now on, swimsuits will be the official costumes for poster girls during the festival.”
“What, are you insane!? That’s not what I meant! Didn’t you get completely caught up in the mood and say you would work hard and honestly?! Why did you do something so drastic so suddenly?”
“Woah! What are you doing? I even added your wish in the proposal!”
While Aqua was flaring up at me for tearing up the proposal, Cecily slowly came before me.
“Wait. Do you intend to waste Aqua-sama’s good will? I may be unworthy of representing the Axis Cult, but I’ll stand outside your house every night and endlessly sing hymns if I have to, you know?”
“Come if you dare! I will punish every last one of you who did these ridiculous things!”
“Wh-What is the matter!? We worked so hard, so why can’t we just enjoy the fruits of our labor!? Cecily said it too— ‘Aqua-sama is Aqua-sama after all. You should enjoy your life better than anyone else. From now on, the Axis Cult will serve you with all our might.’”
“Don’t be so easily influenced by people that you have just met! Hey, go home now! Don’t get involved with weird things! You too. Don’t plot to make Aqua more useless!”
Aqua dodged my hand that tried to bring her back, hiding behind Cecily who was shocked.
“I won’t go back during the festival! That’s right. I won’t go back! … the wise me has learned. If I stay here, I will be revered by everyone! And, Kazuma, even you have to agree that this festival has been a bigger success than normal. . No matter what, the Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival will be held next year. Look at the festival managed by the Eris Cult! They keep losing people to the stalls on our side. Most of the stalls by the Eris Cult have barely any customers!”
Sigh. I thought I could solve a major issue easily this time, but it seemed a leopard just couldn’t change its spots.
After seeing her recent changes, I thought she damaged her brain after eating something strange, but she hadn’t changed at all.
Give me back the feeling that you have improved— was what I thought, but I also felt relieved at seeing her familiar self. I hated myself like this.
Cecily interrupted with a self-satisfied look.
“It is as Aqua-sama said. Our stalls are so popular now. At this stage, it’s almost impossible for the Eris Cult’s side to become popular again. And… please don’t think you are the only one who has business sense. Aqua-sama came up with some fabulous plans!”
Aqua’s plans couldn’t be anything good.
After leaving the church, I wandered around the city as I considered how to make the Axis Cultists suffer.
Aqua got carried away because they performed well during the festival by their own efforts.
Should I join the side of the Eris Cult and make some suggestions for new stalls?
… No. I’m out of ideas. If we began preparing now, we could only manage one or two stalls at most.
But there wasn’t any other option, so for now I should go to the Eris Cult.
—When I arrived at the Eris Cult Church, I saw…
“Hm. Assistant-kun, how did it go?”
Chris sweeping the floor before the church with a broom.
Her question must be referring to me rushing over to lecture them after learning about the proposal of the Axis Cult.
“I couldn’t do a thing. I completely cannot communicate with them anymore… They won’t give up until they are completely ruined… What should I do? Things became like this because I helped Aqua to acquire the festival permit. It is my responsibility. I intend to wake them up before they do any sillier things.”
Facing the serious me, Chris merely shook her head.
“Sempai deserved to be thanked by people for making the festival popular. Compared to her, I couldn’t even recover Aigis. That armor is so conspicuous, yet I still can’t find its current location. I guess it’s better not to host my festival next year. I might be a bit lonely, but I think sempai would make the festival lively next year too!”
After saying that, she laughed helplessly.
She was laughing, but she seemed very lonely. My heart ached to look at her smile.
She was the thief who encountered danger because she was too naïve. She was also the perfect goddess that everyone loved.
She was my ideal type of girl. She was an important friend whom I could talk to, including gossip relating to Megumin and Darkness and various stories about Japan.
At the same time, she shared secrets with me, even more than Aqua who came with me to this parallel world.
When performing her duties as a goddess, she would stay in that white room alone.
When acting as the chivalrous thief, she would be alone too.
My intimate friend, somewhat unreliable boss—
The girl I longed for, the goddess I’m happy to devote to—
“I keep troubling you, Assistant-kun. First, recovering the divine relics. Now, having you stop sempai’s reckless behavior.”
—Sweeping the floor as if to cover up her loneliness…
“Thank you, Assistant-kun. Only you know my real identity, and only you know about what I have been doing. I secretly work against the demon king’s army not because I want to be praised… But because of you, I feel my hard work is worth it.”
—Smiling gently like the goddess Eris.
“Big Boss… No. Eris-sama. There is something I would like the Eris Cultists to help with.”
Facing the puzzled Chris, I said something that I repeated often to the committee members.
“I have a plan.”
—Today was the last day of the festival.
The hot weather did not stop the passions of the many customers.
“My honored guests. I’m very happy and honored to be the host for this event…”
In the square of Axel City.
A man wearing a tuxedo was speaking into a microphone-like magic item on the stage in the middle of the square.
“A special event for this festival, organized by the Eris Cult— The first Miss Goddess Eris Contest has officially began!”
The host announced loudly. The audience below the stage cheered wildly.
This was my plan to kill two birds with one stone.
A beauty contest organized by Eris Cult.
“Hey, Assistant-kun. I don’t know what to complain about this situation anymore.”
“Big Boss. It’s fine if you just enjoy the festival.”
I casually responded to Chris’ helpless complaints.
I knew such events would make the festival lively.
I knew it, but I didn’t have much expectations. Because I couldn’t believe the decent Eris Cultists would tolerate adding the name of Eris to a beauty contest.
But it was different now.
If the Eris Cultists did not persevere now, there might not be a Thanksgiving Festival for their own goddess next year.
I used all my might to convince the Eris Cultists, including Darkness as well. Finally, this proposal was realized.
“I can’t believe Darkness would accept your willful request.”
“This also showed how important Eris-sama is to her.”
Darkness ranted “Using Eris-sama’ name for a beauty contest is blasphemy!” and pestered me for a long time. I finally convinced her by saying, “This would regain the prestige of the Eris Cult and allow us to recover the divine relic, so Eris-sama won’t mind.”.
Chris shyly scratched her cheek.
“I-If it’s just using my name, I don’t really mind…”
“Tell that to Darkness. She was still insisting that she didn’t want to go this morning.”
Chris and I stood by in the last row so that we could see the entire place, including the stage.
This was to make it easier to find and catch Aigis.
It wasn’t just to save the Eris Cult.
This beauty contest was bait.
The precious divine relic that was still wandering in the city might leave at any time.
The fastest way to recover Aigis would be to find a beautiful woman that it could accept.
And I was using Darkness as one of the baits by requesting her participation in the beauty contest…
“… Uh. The reason Darkness did not want to participate probably wasn’t because of the beauty contest itself, but…”
Chris was about to say something, but I couldn’t care about it now.
I rented a magic camera for this day and prepared a telephoto lens.
It was obvious what I wanted to do.
I aimed the camera at the stage.
The women of this city, who were especially confident in their looks, were smiling on the stage.
“Now, the first contestant… Please tell us your name, age, and job!”
This major event that involved the Eris Cult, Chris, and Darkness had begun successfully. But would Aigis really fall for this simple trap?
This method was supposed to solve all of the problems at once but…
… Damn. I’m worried. It’s alright, it should be successful…
That fellow’s thoughts and behaviors were very predictable.
Although I didn’t want to admit it, that fellow was somewhat similar to me.
I watched the surroundings vigilantly and glanced at the beauties on the stage.
“Uh… Based on my personal taste, she is too slender. Her face is very nice, but only her face…”
Chris thought that we would be in for the long haul, so she went to buy some drinks.
I was definitely just glancing.
Besides, I would notice a conspicuous armor like that the moment it appeared.
I looked at the slender beauty and made my own appraisal.
“Is that so? The personality should be more important, right? But her figure is really good. It’s her clothes that make her look thin.”
“True. She seems rather strong-willed. A somewhat slender body and a strong personality would be the best combination. Anyway, looking thin… I should have asked the judges to include a swimsuit segment.”
“You. Why didn’t you include such an important item?! Are you stupid!?”
“I caught you!”
“Ugh! What? What are you doing!? Now is the critical time. Don’t mess about!”
I agreed that now was a critical time, but one of the reasons for hosting this beauty contest was to catch this fellow.
I tossed the net that I prepared earlier over Aigis, who appeared blatantly before me.
The careless Aigis was easily caught by the net.
“I didn’t think you idiot would take the bait so soon. This beauty contest was organized to lure you out!”
“Wh-What did you say!? You are quite capable. I’ve changed my evaluation of you.”
This fellow was the one for whom Chris and I spent so much effort?
I wished it could return us the efforts we gave so far.
“Anyway, you came too quickly! Why did I catch you within five minutes since the contest started? You better apologize to Chris who was buying drinks because she thought we would be in for the long haul!”
“Ah. Can you quiet down? I can’t hear that girl’s profile. Listen, the host is asking her what she has been eating to grow such big breasts.”
“… It can’t be helped. We’ll redo after her profile. But I must maintain my advantageous position. No problem, right?”
“Fine. Redo after that girl goes behind the scene.”
After a temporary truce, I tried not to let Aigis out of my sight and waited for that moment.
The guests around us didn’t notice our disturbance, concentrating fully on the stage.
Finally, that girl’s profile ended and she walked off the stage.
“Okay, let’s continue! Because of you, I went through so much trouble. Now you better be obedient!”
“Ha. Come at me if you can! The Sacred Armor Aigis definitely lives up to its reputation! In the past, my master and I sliced and diced many monsters! Throw whatever you want at me, I’ll cut it to ribbons!”
As we started fighting again, we tried various ways to gain the upper hand. At this time—
“Okay. Thank you very much. And that was Sonya’s introduction! Oh. Truly a contestant with glorious twin peaks! But the next contestant shouldn’t be underestimated either! She is the well-endowed contestant who could potentially be the winner of this contest!! Come. Open the curtains!”
The host’s words made the audience unusually noisy.
Aigis and I paused in our poses to pull on the net and watched the stage intently.
The girl who appeared next was really impressive.
As for how impressive— She was probably a match for Wiz or Darkness…
“… Hey, can we wait until she finishes before starting again?”
“… It can’t be helped. Let’s wait until then.”
“Sorry about this. Also, can you take a picture with the camera? Don’t worry. I won’t escape.”
“…… Good idea. There are so many people anyway. If the fully armored you decided to run, I just have to ask the people around to help and I could catch you easily. It’s quite tiring to maintain this pose too.”
I loosened my grip on the net and aimed the camera at the stage.
“Hey, look! That’s against the rules! Why didn’t you arrange for a swimsuit segment!?”
“It couldn’t be helped. I was in a difficult position too! My companion said that if she had to wear a swimsuit, she wouldn’t participate! Damn. I’m slightly regretting this. If I knew it would be like this, I should have insisted…!”
Aigis and I complained as we tiptoed to watch the beauty contest—
“Hey, hey, hey, is that defenseless costume really okay?! Hm. It’s summer after all. There’s nothing wrong with swimsuits!”
“She is one of the poster girls. I was the one who suggested letting the poster girls wear swimsuits. Uh, it is also to prevent heat stroke and for convenience during the water fights.”
“You are really clever. It can’t be helped if it is to prevent heat stroke. It’s not good to fall sick after all. Oh. The next girl isn’t that good. Her dress is very cute, but she’s trying to get by with costume and makeup.”
“That’s just heresy, makeup should only enhance your natural look. If I were the judge, I’d deduct points for using that much.”
I complained, but that didn’t stop me from snapping a few shots.
“Next contestant! Everyone should be familiar with the destitute shop owner whose name is synonymous with ‘pitiful’! But recently she seemed to have made some money, so the truth is somewhat different now! Her reason for participating is to win the prize money to clear her debts! Everyone, please welcome— the shop owner of Wiz’s Magic Tool Shop!”
“Yeeeeeeeeees! Wiz, Wiz is here! So pretty. Wiz is most suited for wearing aprons!”
“Hey, this perfection rate is really high. I want to hug her tightly! I want to tightly hug this elder sister who looked so huggable! Or let her come inside me! But it’s obvious that she is a magic user. It’s regrettable that her job is incompatible with me. Damn it, can’t she change to a frontline job!?”
Aigis and I were excited at Wiz’s unexpected appearance.
The audience was excited too. I was worried that the high voltage atmosphere might make the next contestant nervous, but…
“Next is… Oh. It’s the contestants in succubus costumes! Even though this contest is held in honor of Goddess Eris, they still dare to dress up as demons… These ladies are really… bold…”
The excited host’s voice became softer and finally became silent.
He couldn’t be blamed.
“Uwaaaaaaaaaaah! ! Hey, what is this? There are three people with such high ratings!? The elder sister on the right and the Lolita on the left are very hard to give up on, but what is the deal with that beauty in the middle!? What a devil! No, a demon girl! That goes far beyond a mere devil, that’s an outright demon girl!”
Aigis made such an uproar as if it was broken. The audience fell into silence.
There were three succubi on the stage.
I was familiar with the ones on the left and right.
They worked at the shop I frequently visited.
But I had never seen the beauty in the middle, even though I was a regular customer.
Next time, I should ask for her to appear in my dreams.
The succubus beauty in the middle took over the microphone.
“Everyone, good evening. After seeing so many contestants, everyone must be a bit tired… Let me strip off my clothes to bring everyone into the world of fantasy…!”
The elder sister in the middle said with a seductive voice and placed her hands on her clothes—
Everyone’s gazes were fixed on the succubus costume, which was very sensuous to begin with.
The audience did not speak, swallowing their saliva in anticipation of the next moment.
Was this elder sister really going to strip in front of so many people!?
Was she serious!?
Were these erotic monsters affected by the festive mood, intending to show their true forms!?
“Hey, hey. Camera! Camera! Prepare the camera! Stay focused!”
“Ah. Sorry! So dangerous. To think I was so careless… That’s a true succubus for you. What an amazing service!”
I set up the camera, preparing to take the best shot. At this time, the beauty stripped off her clothes…!
“Gorgeous molting! Hahaha. You think it’s a succubus queen? How regrettable. It’s actually moi, the assistant of Wiz’s Magic Tool Shop! Oh. The negative emotions of the entire place are amazing. Delicious, delicious!! Wiz’s Magic Tool Shop is currently offering life consultation. If anyone has any problems, please visit us!”
“Please don’t throw things onto the stage! I understand everyone’s feelings! I really do! But please stop throwing things!”
After Vanir and the two succubi left, rubbish was still being thrown at the host who remained on the stage.
Of course, Aigis and I threw things too.
After the audience calmed down, the host pulled himself together and pointed exaggeratedly at the other side of the stage.
“N-Next is a winning candidate for today. Everyone in this city must know her! She is an adventurer and the repeated winner of the Endurance Contests! —Now, as a contestant in the Miss Goddess Eris Contest, the daughter of the noble Dustiness family! Dustiness Ford Lalatina-sama!”
Oh. She was here!
Since she was good looking, I requested her to act as the bait for Aigis. But I already caught Aigis at the start of the contest, so this was rather meaningless now.
I wanted to ask Megumin too, but too bad she was still held up in the police station.
“Wow! Very good! Very awesome, isn’t it? Pretty face, sexy figure, and it’s a noble lady!? She will get very high scores!”
When Darkness appeared, Aigis became excited.
Darkness dressed up beautifully today as if she was a noble lady visiting a villa for leisure. She seemed very concerned about the contest.
She was wearing the white dress that she usually wore in the mansion. She put on light makeup and tied her hair into a single braid hanging over her shoulder. She had a big white hat on her head.
Before the audience, she shyly blocked her blushing face with the hat and lowered her head.
“Not bad, right? This fellow is my companion! I asked her to participate as a bait to lure you out!”
“Are you serious? Good. Very good. Hey, I’ll let her be my master! I definitely would not let her sexy body be hurt!”
It was unexpectedly easy to capture it, and even find a master for it.
“But she is a crusader. A frontline job, specializing in receiving enemy’s attacks. You said before that even an armor gets hurt when it receives attacks, right? And it might not be obvious now— her abs has six packs.”
“Six packs huh. But this is not bad… No, even though she’s a crusader… Damn. Why a crusader? … But I loved her looks. It’s probably difficult to find someone better…”
Secretly, I agreed with Aigis’ troubled assessment.
It was true she looked good. Both her face and her figure.
If her personality was better, she would be perfect, but she turned out like that.
Sigh. What a waste…
“Why don’t you keep watching? There are still other contestants.”
“Yes. There’s no need to decide before the contest is over. Oh, the introduction is starting.”
The host’s voice had gone up in tension, probably because Darkness was a noble.
“Then— Everyone should know you, but please proceed as required. Tell us your name, age, and job!”
“… Dustiness Ford Lalatina… Age 18. My job is temporary lord…”
Perhaps because she was nervous, Darkness’ voice was very soft even with the microphone’s amplification.
Her inner turmoil was evident even from a distance.
At this time, an adventurer in the audience shouted.
“Lalatina! Louder or we can’t hear you!”
Then, one after another—
“Ojou-sama! You are so pretty today!”
“Where is your usual armor? Still, your current dress is very cute, Lalatina!”
There were voices teasing her everywhere.
Besides me, Darkness was also well known among the adventurers in this city.
The drunk adventurers who knew her took the opportunity to tease her.
Looking at Darkness who was embarrassed to the verge of tears, my sadistic nature was inflamed.
“Well done, Lalatina! Quick show us your abs that you are proud of!”
“Isn’t she your companion?”
“Fool! I must cheer her on precisely because she is my companion! Look at Darkness as she blushed on the verge of tears. It’s rare to see such an expression! She can win with this!”
“I see, so you’re actually doing a good thing. I will help you! Hey, pretty girl, show us a bit more of your body!”
Following my lead, Aigis egged her on.. Seeing this, the other adventurers also started taunting her.
“That’s right! Show us your body!”
“Why not wear a swimsuit?”
“Your lordship! Lift your skirt for us to see!”
The usually useless Darkness was now in the limelight like an idol.
I was very excited and shouted even louder.
“You might as well strip!”
Hearing this, Darkness looked at me with a shocked expression.
Oops. Oh dear, I was discovered.
“That’s right. Strip now!”
At this time, everyone was of one mind. Everyone shouted out in unison for her to strip…!
“What are you doing?”
Aigis and I were sobered up by Chris’ icy voice as she returned with the drinks.
TL Note: Insert image – https://i.imgur.com/4gCgz3O. jpg
“—Seriously, you guys are terrible. Don’t bully my friend.”
“N-No. After seeing Darkness being watched and cheered by everyone, I had an impulse to set her up as a super idol…”
“What kind of idol would be urged by people to strip… Even Aigis is messing about so happily… You are supposed to be a divine relic of the highest grade…”
In a place some distance away from the last row of the audience.
Facing Chris who was so disappointed that she was about to cry, Aigis and I were bowing our heads.
I said to her as she sighed deeply.
“But at least we caught this guy according to our initial plans. No matter what, this event has made the Eris Cult very popular too. Isn’t that good?”
“Not good at all! How are we going to clean up this mess!?”
There were cries of anguish and complaints among the audience now.
Enraged by the repeated cries of “Strip!”, Darkness pounced at the audience and was beating up the adventurers.
The adventurers resisted, but Darkness had the upper hand since everyone was unarmed.
… This fellow. Next time, she should fight unarmed against monsters.
“This is getting fun. That girl is rather strong, isn’t she? Beauty and fights are the spices of a festival. I’m getting excited too! Burn, passion! Glow, my body! Good— I’ll join in the fight!”
“Don’t make a bigger mess! Sigh. Aigis, I’m really begging you, please be more amiable… Then, after defeating the demon king, I can use my authority as a goddess to grant your wish along with the wish of the hero…”
Chris sighed and put her hand on Aigis, who was excited by the royal rumble.
Aigis shrugged and said.
“This wench is talking about being a goddess again. Listen, girl. I know goddesses. I have seen them. Or rather, it was a goddess who gave me to a certain girl. Let me tell you. Goddesses are all abnormal.”
“What did you say!?”
Truly, they really were abnormal.
The goddess, who (probably) gave this armor away and was currently plotting evil deeds with her cult, flashed across my mind.
“Y-You!! Ugh! I can’t take it anymore! Before I find a suitable master for you, I will seal you away in the lake! There are other divine relics in the lake anyway! You can keep each other company!”
“That kind of punch cannot hurt my body! I’m a divine relic after all! Ha. Try harder, ojou-chan!”
I observed the surrounding and ignored Chris, who was repeatedly attacking Aigis despite being in pain.
The audience nearby were enjoying the ongoing fight between Darkness and the others.
It was different from what I had in mind. This was becoming a circus show, but it was still lively.
But what about the main purpose of this event?
Luring Aigis out was our goal.
Taking the opportunity to re-assert the authority of the Eris Cult— What about this goal…
—And then, by chance, we learned that this goal had not been achieved.
“Well. It was funny. Sigh. For an event like a beauty contest, the pretty girls in our city only have good looks, so it is very likely to turn out like this. For the inflexible and uncreative Eris Cultists, this event was still considerably interesting, right?”
One of the audience said before us.
“It is interesting. But personally, I think we should just let the Axis Cult host the festival next year. The Axis Cultists are all fools, but they know how to make a festival lively!”
“That’s right. Those people are idiots, but they are always so merry! Even though they are idiots!”
There were similar comments everywhere. There were even people who wanted to leave after finding out who was the most beautiful girl in town.
Chris stopped her attacks on Aigis.
“Eris Cult truly worked very hard. But it is better for the annual festival to be lively.”
“Yes. I heard the planning committee is still considering whether to change it to the Aqua Festival next year. It seems it might be put to a vote.”
“Eh. Anyway, those people must be currently doing stupid things at the stalls managed by the Axis Cult. Let’s go over there after the event here has ended.”
… And then.
“Ah. Haha. The children here worked very hard, but it can’t be helped. Now it seems Eris Festival may be cancelled next year.”
As if to avoid worrying me, Chris smiled and looked at me. She seemed very lonely.
“Well. I don’t really have the time to enjoy the festival anyway. While we are casually enjoying the festival, a lot of people are being tortured by monsters… So I must recover as much of the divine relics as I can.”
Chris, who had been secretly doing good deeds for the world, said while pretending not to mind.
And then looked at Aigis.
“Please, Aigis. Can you obey me?”
“Eh… It’s somewhat moving, but I won’t obey you merely because you look depressed!”
“Hey, Aigis. I will introduce you to a very beautiful girl. Can you listen to Chris’ instructions?”
“Ha? Very beautiful girl? … Hey, I can guess what you are planning. It must be that, right? The masked uncle earlier! You want to let that guy transform into a beautiful girl and say to me, ‘Look, I definitely introduced you to a beautiful girl.’ Do you think Aigis-san is really so stupid—“
“Big Boss. No. Let me address you as Eris-sama… I have a somewhat— no, a very difficult request.”
I interrupted Aigis’ speech, looked into Chris’ eyes and lowered my head.
Chris looked a bit embarrassed.
“Hey. Isn’t this ojou-chan called Chris? What do you mean by Eris-sama? Is your brain… Ha? Heat stroke? Or is it fever? You said it yourself that it is important to prevent heat stroke. This cannot do. Wait here. I will get the doctor. Consider it as a reward for coming up with such a wonderful plan—“
“Fine, Assistant-kun… No. I will listen to your request, Kazuma-san. If it is within my capabilities, please say it.”
Chris looked at me seriously.
“Heh! Even if my temperament is good, I will still get angry if you keep ignoring me! Hey, what are you planning?!”
I said to Aigis, who was complaining in a metallic noise after being ignored—
“Hey, Aigis. I’ll let you see the real thing next.”
The berserk Darkness was finally subdued by the management and brought to a room to calm down alone.
The scene was still a bit restless, but at least the event could continue now. The host on the stage used his microphone once more.
“Uh. The disturbance has more or less ended. All the contestants have shown themselves. Now to announce the winner for Miss Goddess Eris Contest—“
At the moment when the host said this.
—The noisy crowd suddenly fell silent.
The rowdy adventurers.
The merchants who were preparing to leave.
Everyone, regardless of gender or age— were focused on the stage.
At some point, a gently smiling girl appeared in the middle of the stage.
“… Uh… Eh? Th-That is…”
Everyone was staring at the girl. Only the host managed to say something—
“… I say, can we consider you as a last minute… contestant… Is that… okay…?”
The girl continued to stand in the center of the stage, smiling warmly.
—In terms of both her face and her dress, the pretty girl looked like the commonly depicted form of Goddess Eris in this world.
“Yes. I’m sorry for deciding to join the contest at the last minute. I have troubled everyone.”
Eris put her hands together and bowed to apologize. That action alone caused the host unbearable embarrassment.
“No, no, no, no! Amazing! What an amazing surprise! Th-Thank you very much for participating in this Miss Goddess Eris-sama Beauty Contest!”
The host naturally added “sama” to the name of Miss Goddess Eris Contest. Perhaps he intuitively sensed her true identity.
But everyone had some doubts like “Would this really happen?”.
As if the gears were moving once more, there was a bit of noise in the silent city square.
Aigis stood beside me, unmoving and silent.
Finally, the host on the stage made a decision and moved the microphone awkwardly before Eris’ face.
“Uh, then please… Uh. Because every contestant needs to answer some questions, so please forgive me… If possible, please tell us your name and such…”
The host asked in trepidation and anticipation.
Hearing his question, Eris smiled so sweetly that everyone sighed. She said.
“My name is Eris.”
In an instance, cheers echoed through the city square.
There were people fanatically screaming “Eris-sama”.
There were people silently looking up at Eris as if intoxicated.
There were also people who put their hands together in sincere prayers.
The people near me, who were possibly Eris Cultists, kneeled down and cried.
“Th-This is the real power of a goddess. This is beyond my expectation.”
I was a bit uneasy about this exaggerated reaction. I talked to Aigis, who was still standing unmoving next to me.
The unmoving Aigis finally started to tremble.
TL Note: Insert image – https://i.imgur.com/j4R04QK. jpg
It said softly.
“Found her. Found her! I found her! I found my master! Who is that? Hey, who is that!? Why is there such a beautiful girl in this world!? I don’t understand. I don’t understand!!”
“Hey, calm down! I feel you are breaking your character— even though an armor shouldn’t be considered as a character.”
I tried to calm the panicked Aigis down. The host continued his questions on the stage.
“Ah. Haha. Th-Thank you very much! Thank you very much for answering my question! Uh. There are two more questions…”
The excited host flinched and asked.
Her age and her job.
“It’s a secret.”
She playfully closed one eye and put her index finger to her lips.
Cheers roared once again. The entire scene was shaking.
At this time, someone— no, an armor…
The divine relic (self-proclaimed) roared as it shook unnaturally!
“N-No. I ca-cannot make it! Eris-sama, stop doing these killing moves! I, Aigis, cannot endure any more of your mischievous poses!”
“You are the one who cannot make it! What the heck are you!? You are noisy. Be quiet. If you can do that, I will introduce you to her.”
Hearing this, Aigis trembled violently.
“Seriously!? Seriously!? You… No, my lord just said I’ll be introduced to that lady!?”
“Yes. I said that once before— ‘I will introduce you to a very beautiful girl. Can you listen to Chris’ instructions?’ By the way, the Goddess Eris standing over there is in fact Chris. She mentioned it a few times herself. She is a goddess, but you just refused to believe.”
“Fuck! What should I do? What should I do!? How should I apologize to Eris-sama!? Hey, you come and apologize with me. I’ll let you wear me for a while!”
Honestly, I didn’t want to wear Aigis, but he had no more reason to disobey Chris now.
I smiled bitterly at her, who was watching us from the stage and smiling happily—
“The Goddess Eris-sama has descended!”
I heard someone shouting loudly.
“—Eris-sama, please shake my hand! Recently, I have been too unlucky! Please bless me as the goddess of luck!”
Who said that?
Perhaps it was a very urgent wish. This person’s shout was heard clearly even amidst the noise and fervor.
The scene quieted down as a result.
… Eh. Wasn’t this situation really bad?
“Me too! Eris-sama, please shake hands with me too!”
“Fool! I came first!”
“Eris-sama, I have a hungry kitten at home! Please bless me to win the lottery on my way home…!”
The excited audience were trying to climb onto the stage.
“Everyone, please calm down! Please don’t climb onto the stage!”
The host tried to maintain order, but nobody listened to him anymore.
Eris was a bit troubled on the stage, but she still shook hands with her own people.
Eris-sama, you were too obliging. Everything would be fine if you just solemnly refused!
“Hey. Go and protect Eris-sama.”
“Ah. Yes. This is getting bad. Look. There’s a greedy idiot who is holding Eris-sama’ hand and refusing to let go!”
The Eris Cultists near me shouted these words and charged.
This was indeed getting bad. The mood was like an idol shaking hands with her fans, but the people were unnaturally hot-blooded. It wasn’t strange if someone was up to no good.
“Hey. Aigis. Help quickly! If this carries on, Eris-sama will be sandwiched! If you want to apologize to her, protect her well!”
“Oh! What is this development that could let me die without regret!? I will definitely protect her! Super protection! Let me, Sacred Armor Aigis, protect Eris-sama’s untainted body and her blood of chastity!”
“Uh. No. What blood of chastity… You may not have knowledge in this field. I don’t think you really understand the meaning of that, right?”
“Eris-sama is a goddess, so she must be a virgin! She must be the type that will scream and cover her face in embarrassment when she sees a naked man. But she will still peek through her fingers because she is slightly curious. She is kind-hearted and gentle, so her scent is very fragrant.”
How obsessed were you?
“Hey, quickly! Once you reach the stage, hide Eris-sama inside yourself! Then break through the mob!”
“This is great! To become one with Eris-sama so soon! E-Eris-sama inside my body… Hehehe…”
“Hey, are you really okay? Why do I feel like you are the most dangerous one here!? You better concentrate on clearing the mob. Didn’t you say you are good at fighting!?”
Aigis charged into the chaotic mob as if answering me.
“That’s right. After finding my true master, I’m hotter than anyone in this crowd! Make way! Touch me and you will be burnt!”
“Hot! What’s wrong with this guy!? Wearing a full suit of armor on a hot day like this. He’s crazy!”
“Don’t shove! Letting your hot plate armor burn…. No… Ugh!”
“Pour some water on this guy!”
Oh, right. This guy was standing there for so long on such a hot day. The entire armor was scorching.
I passed by the crowd which made way to escape the scorching Aigis, charging right for the stage.
“K-Kazuma-san! H-How should we solve this disturbance…”
Eris asked in panic as she continued to honestly shake hands with the mob.
“Aigis is coming. Hide inside him and escape somewhere isolated! … Hey, you! Stop holding on to Eris-sama’ hand! If you like to shake hands so much, I will shake yours!”
“Ah, stop! I already decided never to wash my hand for the rest of my life!”
I forcefully shook his hand, making him cry. At this time, Aigis moved pass the people and arrived on the stage.
“Sorry for the wait, master. Please enter my body! My equipping keyword is ‘I want to be Aigis’ bride!’ Quickly, say it!”
“I-I want to be Aigis’ br…”
“Don’t be tricked, Eris-sama! You too! Stop messing around at this time!”
Aigis shrugged in regret.
“It can’t be helped… Come, master! Combine!”
At this moment, the armor emitted a glaring light.
Everyone, including me and the host, hurriedly shut our eyes because the light was too glaring. When we looked at Eris again…!
“Hot! It’s hot, Kazuma-san! I’m going to be cooked!”
Eris cried out in anguish from within the armor.
Not good. I forgot this guy was really hot right now.
I lifted my right hand towards Aigis.
“Magic is useless.”
Oh, right. Skills and magic didn’t work on this guy!
“Where did Eris-sama go!?”
“Did she return to the heavens?”
“No. Those two guys who climbed on to the stage did something!”
After finding Eris gone in the flash of light, the crowd pointed at Aigis and I while climbing onto the stage.
“This is bad… Hey, Aigis! I will attract their attention. You run away with Eris-sama!”
“Leave it to me! And since you are working hard, I will give you some good news! Eris-sama smells really good!”
Couldn’t I think of something to save this guy’s brain?
B-But I’m still rather happy to hear this report.
“K-Kazuma-san!? The crowd is getting ugly. This is too dangerous…!”
As if she couldn’t be bothered with Aigis’ naughty words, Eris asked in a fuzzy voice from inside the armor.
“No problem. The opponents have no weapons. I won’t lose now.”
That’s right. If the opponents are unarmed, I have the advantage of Drain Touch skill.
I raised my hand towards the people who were climbing onto the stage.
“Use this to clear your heads! Create Water!”
At this time, a lot of water rained on their heads!
“Ugh! This bastard!”
“You dare to do this! Hey! Kill him!”
“That adventurer Kazuma is famously weak! Gang up on him!”
The people who were drenched by me climbed onto the stage and charged at me.
I successfully aggravated them.
Perhaps because Eris was still resisting inside the armor, Aigis wasn’t leaving. So I said.
“Big Boss, please leave quickly! It’s the duty of a minion to cover for the boss to escape!”
I turned my back on Aigis, who was unwilling to leave.
“And today is the last day of the festival! Festival is all about stalls and fireworks. And— fighting is the spice of festival!”
I clenched my fist.
“Bring it on!”
The voice of Eris faded behind me. Aigis must have brought her away. I listened to her shouting and charged at the angry mob.
Standing before me with her arms crossed, Darkness looked down at me.
“Hey, schemer. About this incident, what do you have to say for yourself?”
After making a scene at the beauty contest, I was arrested by the police and thrown into jail.
After receiving the instructions to “stay here and calm down”, I spent the last day of the festival hugging my knees alone in jail. Finally…
“Hey. I’m grateful for bailing me out, but this treatment is a bit too much.”
Thanks to Darkness, I was released from jail. Upon returning to the mansion, I was made to sit straight in the living room.
Aqua was sitting straight next to me. She was hugging Emperor Zell and looking at me with glowing eyes.
It seemed this fellow did something stupid.
What was the meaning of Aqua’s look as if the lecture companions have increased?
Like me, Megumin was released due to Darkness pulling some strings. She tiredly lay on the sofa, looking at me as if she didn’t know what to say.
“And why are you calling me a schemer? Tell me the details of what happened after I was arrested by the police.”
Although I couldn’t imagine what I could have done wrong, I still placed my hands on the carpet, preparing to bow my head at a moment’s notice.
“Then let me ask you… When you suggested the shopping street chairman to let both cults jointly host the festival, did you say this— If we incite the Axis Cult and the Eris Cult to compete, the festival will become livelier and the shopping street will make more money.”
I kneeled down at lightning speed.
Darkness continued saying.
“And I heard from Aqua that you were the one who first thought of combining the Eris Thanksgiving Festival and the Aqua Thanksgiving Festival. The shopping street chairman said that you were the one who made those suspicious proposals like letting the poster girls wear swimsuits and the costume parade… It’s true, right, Advisor-dono? This is brought over by the chairman. He said it is your reward.”
It seemed everything was exposed when the chairman sent the reward over.
Very few people knew that I was living with Darkness.
What should I do? Everyone’s gazes was so icy.
Could I get by playing the fool?
“Don’t make that guilty expression, as if we are bullying you. But to keep a cut of the festival’s profits is a malpractice left over from the previous lord. I don’t blame you. You should openly take it… What? Are you not going to take it, Advisor-dono?”
Darkness intentionally pretended to be understanding and showed me the huge bag of money.
Stop. You might as well just scold me fiercely.
“Wait, Darkness. There’s something I’m concerned with… Kazuma. I heard that recently you are very close to a lot of women. For example, drinking all night with the women in succubus cosplay. I’m not saying you can’t do that. After all, Kazuma isn’t dating anyone.”
Megumin suddenly tossed out a bomb.
“Y-You really did as you pleased this time… Uh, but it’s not my place to criticize your private life. We don’t have that kind of relationship— But we were getting along so well, don’t you feel guilty doing this?”
Hey. Darkness, what were you saying?
Hearing this, Megumin snapped her head towards Darkness.
“Eh. I just heard something I can’t ignore! When were you two ‘getting along so well’? What do you mean? After being saved by him from the lord, you think you are a little princess now? Anyway, how well exactly are you getting on? What stage is it? Did you cross the line during the festival and have a physical relationship? That’s just debauchery!”
“N-No…!? Actually, we don’t have a physical relationship yet…!”
“Did you say ‘yet’? That means one day it will become that kind of relationship!? Slut!”
Pestered by Megumin, Darkness cried out in anguish. I turned to Aqua—
“Hey, Aqua. Don’t you think that right now I’m like a male protagonist with a harem?”
“You. You are being lectured right now. Why are you so happy?”
Hearing our conversation, Darkness hurriedly asked to avoid Megumin’s interrogation.
“Right. Right! Aqua! Next is you! Really. How are you going to solve this!?”
Darkness’ hair was already in a mess.
“… Darkness. Let’s talk it over. That masked demon said so too. Humans are a species capable of communicating.”
Sitting straight next to me, Aqua placed Emperor Zell on her knees and said something unusually reasonable.
By the way, what did she actually do?
“True. I think communication is very important too. If you had talked to me from the start, things won’t become like this.”
Darkness thought for a while and replied.
—After asking for details, it turned out to be like this.
On the day of the Miss Goddess Eris Contest.
The Axis Cultists were getting carried away because the stalls were very profitable recently. They decided to use Aqua’s proposal and give the Eris Cult the finishing blow.
That was Aqua’s fabulous plan mentioned by Cecily.
This fellow thought that the stalls related to Japan would make money, so she schemed and did something she shouldn’t have done.
“To think you could come up with such a marketing scheme. This is only very profitable for the people at the top, right? Can Aqua really think of something this amazing?”
Megumin asked as if she was impressed.
Darkness moved forward as if saying that wasn’t important.
“Then, who taught you this ‘multi-level marketing’? It would be hard for Aqua alone to commit such a difficult crime.”
Darkness brought her face close to Aqua.
Aqua turned and pointed.
“Nonsense! You are trying to frame me! —A long time ago, I was complaining about the debts, ‘Ah. We can’t make money at all. Maybe I should try out multi-level marketing.’ And I explained the method then!”
“So it was you! How involved must you be in this incident before you are satisfied!?”
“Wait! I didn’t ask her to do this! In my country, this was widely considered criminal… Hey, Aqua. You know very well this is criminal! Don’t pretend you didn’t hear!”
That’s right. This idiot used the Axis Cultists to do multi-level marketing.
The legal system in this parallel world was not as extensive as the one on Earth, so it had no resistance against multi-level marketing.
Add in the crowd attraction caused by the festival, and the multi-level marketing system was set up promptly and made a lot of money in just one day.
It made too much money.
So much that even Darkness noticed it easily.
Aqua suddenly lifted her head to look at Darkness.
“I can’t help it! I heard that Eris herself shamelessly joined the beauty contest! If this continued, the Eris Cult would become popular again! And I needed a lot of money to host the Aqua Festival alone next year…!”
“That is not an excuse to commit crime! The root of the problem was Aqua whining about wanting the Axis Cult to host a Thanksgiving Festival…”
“But if it is just Eris alone, it is too unfair! Why can’t I have a festival!? Why can’t I be praised!? I also want to be served and worshipped! Besides, multi-level marketing is not considered a crime!”
“It is indeed not a crime! Not yet! This is merely because there is no law relating to this new form of scam! You behavior is undoubtedly a malpractice!”
As their arguments were heating up, Megumin and I shared a look and smiled bitterly.
“Since the law cannot stop me, what I did cannot be considered a crime! So return me the money I made! Return me the funds for next year’s Aqua Festival!”
“Those money have been returned to the victims! If you persist in this, you will have a criminal record like Megumin and Kazuma!”
“Hey, wait. I was merely put in jail to clear my head, so it’s not a criminal record!”
“Right, right! I was also merely warned by the police!”