KonoSuba! Short Story – Megumin the Ripper

Commissioned by: Myself

The first bounty board story! About that actually, I’ve recently run into problems with paypal, so I’ve denied the donation of anyone who has paid through the donation link on the bounty board page, and the money has been returned to wherever you’ve sent it from. If you’d still like to, please fund/donate through directly to the email re.yun.NS@gmail.com in paypal, and I thank everyone reading this for your continued support! Now onto the story-

Volume 2 – Special Short Story: Megumin the Ripper

<TL Note: For those of you that aren’t familiar, the plot of this short story is centered Jack the Ripper, who was an unknown serial killer in 19th century London. This unknown figure was well-known for ‘ripping’ the person’s stomach during his/her murders.>

 

“On this occasion, I present to everyone the favorite sword of ‘Shack the Ripper’. I would like all the magicians here to help investigate this details of this weapon.”

 

As the guild employee said that, she placed a blade on the table.

––I had been invited to the guild by Megumin, but to be honest, the only reason I’m here is because I had some free time.

“…Hey Megumin, What is this ‘Shack the Ripper’?”

If I remember correctly, there was a mass murderer with a similar name back on earth.

“Shack was an extraordinary swordsman who had some seriously amazing proficiency with the sword. For some reason, he won’t lay a scratch on his opponent’s bodies. Well, basically, he was a depraved pervert that would only ‘rip’ the opponent’s clothes.”

What? Isn’t that amazing? I mean, he could rip the opponent’s clothes apart without leaving a scratch on their body. Shouldn’t he be called a true expert in the art of ripping clothes?

“That sword is undoubtedly the one that Shack used. By the way, Shack’s hideout was discovered in this town the other day, and they managed to retrieve this sword from there…”

The employee gave a rather vague description.

“Actually, the weapon identifiers determined that this is a cursed blade that has been enchanted with powerful magic… When we passed it to someone with the swordsman job to try it out, they reported that the sword was too dull to defeat a kobold…”

An extraordinary pervert’s… No, an extraordinary swordsman’s favorite sword, huh.

“Could it be something like that? You know, like how legendary swords choose their owners…”

Though I had said this without thinking, the entire guild, for one reason or another, fell into a state of commotion.

Finally, one adventurer picked up the sword, and without any real intention, looked closely at the bladed edge.

––Then, the guild doors were flung open.

“Hah… Excuse me–! I have completed the request ‘Capture the neroid that escaped from the tavern’ without any problems–! I would like an employee to confirm the neroids!”

A female warrior energetically cried out through the guild.

At her feet was a cage filled with mysterious creatures that were hard to describe.

––I don’t know what the adventurer who picked up Shack’s sword was thinking, but he suddenly swung it at the neroid!

“Ah––!?”

“Mya–“

The neroid which was slashed by the sword let out a frightened cry, but there was not a single wound on it.

Seeing that, the adventurer – as if losing strength – fell to one knee.

“Damn… I wasn’t recognized by this sword…”

“Y-, You, what are you doing all of a sudden!? I finally managed to capture it so what are you trying to do!?”

The female warrior lashed out at the man.

“Ah–!?”

She shrieked…

“Nyan~”

“…Damnit! I’m not it either huh….!”

“What is this!? Hey, what is happening!? Do you guys really hate me… Wha-, Stop!”

As the female warrior continued to cry out, everyone else took turns with Shack’s sword to slash the innocent neroid.

In the end, there was not a single cut on the caged neroid, and the sword was returned to the table.

…I tried once as well, but it didn’t work either.

“Hmm, I wonder. Could it be that this sword can’t be used by anyone other than a pervert? However, if that’s the case, then…”

“…Oi, you’re looking at me aren’t you. Can I hear your reason?”

“I-Its nothing, it nothing alright?”

Then, Megumin – as if trying to cheat – reached out for the sword and…

 

––Cut the table that the sword was placed on in half.

 

““““!?””””

Realizing that Megumin had somehow ripped the table in two pieces, everyone in the guild froze in surprise.

“…Could it be…that Megumin-san is the one chosen by the sword…?”

In response to the employee’s mutter, everyone gulped audibly.

––Then, Megumin wordlessly approached the neroid; sword in hand.

“!? W-, What are you trying to do! Just stop this already, otherwise I won’t be able to fulfill the request! I mean, why is everybody slashing the neroid that I captured! What did I do wrong!?”

As Megumin brandished the sword and slashed the neroid, the female warrior became silent.

“-…!? …Huh!? Nothing really-………Ahhhhh–!”

The female warrior who had instinctively closed her eyes, reopened her eyes, and saw that the lock of the neroid’s cage had been cut apart.

“I have cut a worthless object…”

<TL Note: This is Goemon Ishikawa’s catchphrase from Lupin the 3rd. He typically says it after an amazing feat of swordsmanship.>

“Waittttt! After all the trouble I went through to catch it, so why––!?”

As Megumin was drowned in her own satisfaction, the female warrior frantically chased after the escaped neroid.

“““WOAHHHHH!”””

The people of the guild burst in excitement, and began to present random things to Megumin.

“Oi oi, can that sword really cut anything!? Can you spare a sec to cut this for me!?”

“M-, Me too! I can’t open the cap to this thing!”

No matter what was presented to her, she cut them apart with ease.

It’s the real thing! It’s a really cursed sword!

I borrowed the sword from Megumin, and gave it another try.

Maybe it’s because I wasn’t recognized by the sword or something, but I could only leave a scratch on a piece of metal.

The excited guild employee ran towards Megumin and clasped her hands.

“Megumin-san! Please excuse my behavior, but I have a special request for you. The contents of the request are to test the cutting capabilities of that sword, and find the limit its power. As for the reward…would this do?”

The amount of the employee suggested was definitely not a small amount.

“Fuu…Well, why not? I suppose.”

Megumin attached the sword to her belt, and gave an exaggerated nod.

I can’t help but feel that there was some slight misunderstanding.

megumin-the-ripper-illust-fixed-ver

“Sensei, please help with this as well! I can’t bring myself to destroy this letter from my ex-girlfriend!”

“Sensei, my little brother was somehow trapped in this wooden crate, and I can’t open it! Please help me!”

“Sensei! This is about my boss’ secret stash, but I can’t open the door to his safe! Could I ask you to open it!?”

Since the guild reported that it would cut apart anything as a service, the townspeople flooded in one after another with requests to cut certain objects.

…More importantly, aren’t there some things that could be cut without using the cursed sword, or some things that we really should be cutting up?

Whilst I was busy with my straight-man thoughts, Megumin had already moved on to cut the next object.

And then, she cut and cut and cut and cut and cut.

Finally, by sunset, the crowd ceased to continue.

Dyed in the orange light of the sunset, Megumin––

“Kazuma…Something like ‘the peak of mastery’ is such a vain thing, isn’t it…?”

“Y-You…Even though you just got the sword and experienced a sudden power-up, why are you acting like a master swordsman?”

Despite my straight-man act, Megumin’s affectation stayed the same.

“Kazuma…for the last thing, I want you accompany me to face my nemesis.”

Megumin showed a serious expression.

“My great self, that had fought a hard battle against the giant toads… With explosion magic, I wouldn’t be able to defeat two of them… However, if it’s the current me! …Yes, this is the time to show the fruit of my progress! It is the time for our ultimate showdown!”

“You’re talking about a showdown, but weren’t you just gobbled up last time?”

On the plains a short distance from down, dyed in the burning light of the sunset, Megumin faced off with a giant toad.

Since this girl got called ‘Sensei’ by the townspeople, she began to show this strange behavior.

Currently, the giant toad – as if ignoring Megumin – didn’t even budge.

…Well, if it’s the current Megumin, she probably won’t be swallowed like she was before.

As I optimistically observed the scene…

“Ahh, there you are! Kazuma-san, Megumin-san! It’s been found!”

I turned towards the guild employee with a puzzled expression…

“Actually, about that cursed sword… After looking through Shack’s hideout, we managed to understand its secret. That sword uses magic power to cut any object, so people with high magic power would be able to use it with ease… Also, the blade of the sword isn’t able to cut through living organisms, and that was probably the secret behind how Shack ripped through people’s clothes… So, if you use that sword to fight monsters…”

Then, the employee abruptly stopped.

 

––She too, witnessed Megumin being swallowed by the giant toad.

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11 thoughts on “KonoSuba! Short Story – Megumin the Ripper

  1. Neriod? Weren’t slime lookalikes called “neroids”?

    Thanks for the story. The thing about the output being dependent on magic power I didn’t realize, but the “only cut nonliving things” I noticed since the start (too obvious).

    Like

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