Stealing treasures (panties) with my right hand!
“Nah, I have something to ask the both of you. How do you learn skills?”
The day after fighting the toads.
We were having a late lunch at the guild’s bar.
Before me was the penniless Megumin who didn’t have any proper meal before meeting us and was focusing on eating her set meal. And Aqua calling for the waitress to order more food.
Their appetites were too good for ladies of this tender age.
… 2 woman and 1 man is still a harem party, but it was totally not feminine…
Megumin lift her head while holding her fork and said:
“Learning skills? That’s easy, look at your card and choose from the ‘skills that could be learned’ column… Oh right, Kazuma’s job is adventurer. For basic tier jobs, you need someone to teach you the skills. You need to see the skill in action and ask the user to teach you how to use it. ‘Skills that could be learned’ will show up, and you could learn the skills by putting in the required skill points.”
I remember the counter lady saying that the basic tier job adventurer could learn any skills.
If that was the case…
“… That means if Megumin teaches me, I could use explosion magic?”
“That’s how it is!”
Megumin reacted strongly to my casual words.
“That’s how it is, Kazuma! The skill points needed would be absurdly high, but adventurer is the only job other than arch wizard that could use explosion. I can teach you if you want to learn. Or rather, there are no other skills that are worth learning except explosion right? Of course not! Come, let’s take the path of explosion together!”
Your face was too close!
“Wait, calm down loli! I only have 3 skill points, there’s no way I could learn it right?”
Megumin was too excited to hold a proper conversation, so I asked Aqua instead.
“If an adventurer wants to learn explosion spell, 20 or so skill points won’t be enough. You will probably need to train for a decade or two and invest all your points to learn it.”
“Who has that kind of patience?”
“Fu… To call me a loli…”
Megumin seemed stunned by me addressing her as a loli, eating her set meal in small bites dejectedly. But the only good point about my job– adventurer was the ability to learn all skills. O curse I want to learn more skills.
“Nah, Aqua, you should have many convenient skills right? Do you have any easy to learn skills to teach me? I prefer those that don’t need a lot of points and are very useful.”
Aqua thought for a moment while holding her cupful of water.
“… It couldn’t be helped– but I have to warn you, my skills are amazing! It’s not meant to be passed on lightly!”
I wasn’t happy about Aqua mouthing off like that, but I had to bear with it since I am requesting her to teach me.
I obediently nodded my head and watched Aqua’s every movement.
“Well, look at this cup. Put this cupful of water on top of your head, and don’t let the cup fall off. Here, try it.”
It’s a bit embarrassing to do that in public, but I mimic Aqua’s action and put the cup on top of my head.
Aqua then took out an unknown seed from somewhere and place it on the table.
“Alright, now use your finger to flick the seed into the cup, you must do it in one try. Something amazing is happening! The seed is absorbing the water and sprouting…”
“Who asked you to teach me party tricks you worthless goddess!”
Aqua became as dejected as Megumin for some reason and rolled the seed around the table with her finger.
I don’t know why you got so down, but could you remove the cup on your head, it’s drawing a lot of attention.
“Hahaha! That’s so funny! Hey, you are the party Darkness wanted to join right? You want to learn something useful? How about thieving skills?”
Someone interjected suddenly.
I turned my head and saw two women occupying the neighboring table.
The one talking to me was a woman wearing light leather armor.
She had a small scar on her face and seemed to be street smart. She was a pretty girl with silver locks and a bright personality.
Beside her was a blond beauty in full plate mail.
That unapproachable cool beauty…
That’s right, it was the female knight that wanted to join our party yesterday.
The thief girl should be a year or two younger than me.
“Erm, what do you mean by thieving skills? How are they like?”
The girl that looked like a thief responded cheerfully:
“Good question. Thieving skills are very practical– such as ‘disarm traps’, ‘sense enemy’, ‘hide’, ‘steal’, they are all skills that are worth learning. Your job is the basic tier adventurers right? thieving skills don’t require much points, so it’s a great deal! How about it? I can teach them to you if you treat me to a glass of crimson beer!”
That’s how I felt, but when I thought about it, she had nothing to lose from teaching me the skills.
And I could just ask any other thief if I really want to learn thieving skills.
“Okay, I leave it in your hands! Excuse me– Please get a glass of ice cold crimson beer for this lady!”
“I will do a short introduction. I am Chris. As you can see, I am a thief. And this person with a moody face is Darkness. You met yesterday right? She is a crusader and shouldn’t have any skills that are useful to you.”
“Hello! I am Kazuma, nice to meet you, Chris!”
The open plaza behind the adventurers guild.
Chris, Darkness and I stood at this desolate open space.
By the way, those 2 companions of mine were sulking at the table all this while, so I left them there. “Well then, we will start from ‘sense enemy’ and hide. We will work on ‘disarm trap’ next time, traps are rare in such a crowded place. Hey… Darkness, could you turn and face that side?”
“…Hmmm? …. Okay.”
Darkness turned and face away as instructed.
And so, Chris got into a wooden barrel some distance away and showed only the top half of her body.
I don’t know what she was playing at, but she then threw a rock at Darkness’s head and hid into the barrel.
Could this be the hide skill?
Darkness who was hit by the rock moved silently towards the only barrel in the area.
“Sensing enemy… sensing enemy… I can strongly feel that Darkness is angry! Nah, Darkness? You should know I only did that to teach him the skills, I couldn’t help it! Please have mercy ahhhhhh, stop ahhhhhhhh!”
The barrel she was hidden in was toppled over and Chris screamed as it rolled on the ground.
… Could I really learn skill this way…
“Alright, let’s try the skill I recommend the most, ‘steal’. This was a skill that can snatch away one item possessed by the target, it could be anything. Be it the weapon gripped tightly in their hands, or the wallet secured deep in their pockets, it can steal one item possessed by the target. The probability of success is dependent on the luck stat. You could rob the weapon or treasure of a strong enemy and run, a great skill to have under any circumstances.”
After Chris recovered from the dizziness of being rolled around in a barrel, she explained ‘steal’ to me.
Stealing sounded very useful indeed.
And it was dependent on the luck stat, so my only stat that is high would be of use.
“I will demonstrate with you as the target! Ready, ‘steal’!”
Chris shouted as she reached her hand forward, and a small item appeared in her hand.
“Ah! That’s my wallet!”
It contained all of my cash, a thin and pitiful wallet.
“Oh! Jackpot! It’s used this way. Well point, I will give the wallet…”
Chris smiled deviously when she was about to return the wallet to me.
“… Nah, let’s have a match alright? Try learning ‘steal’ now. I will then let you steal one item from me. I won’t complain even if you steal my wallet or weapon. Your wallet is so thin, so my weapon or wallet would definitely be more valuable. That means we will be trading whatever items that were stolen… How about it? Want to try?”
This person suddenly said something amazing.
I thought about it.
My luck seemed ridiculously high…
I could steal one item from the opponent…
So I would get something even if the skill failed.
… Let’s give it a go.
Such gambles seemed like the way rash adventurers would interact, just what I was looking forward to!
That’s right, I am finally experiencing something adventurer like after coming to this world!
I looked at my adventurer card and saw a new box that displayed skills that could be learned.
I touch it with my finger and 4 skills were displayed.
‘Sense enemy’ 1 point, ‘hide’ 1 point, ‘steal’ 1 point’, ‘beauties of nature’ 5 points.
… ‘Beauties of nature’? The skill used by Aqua, the party trick of flicking a seed into a cup?
The party trick had such a flashy name! Eh? And it took a lot of points!
Party tricks were cool in some way, but I decided to learn ‘steal’, ‘sense enemy’ and ‘hide’.
I used up all my skill points and it turned to 0.
I see, so that’s how you learn skills.
“I have learned the skill. And I accept your challenge! Don’t come crying to me no matter what I steal!”
I stuck out my right hand as I spoke, but Chris just smiled fearlessly.
“That’s great! I like people who aren’t spoilsport! Alright then, what could you steal? The special prize would be my wallet. The grand prize would be this magically enchanted dagger! This is a great item worth 400,000 Eris! The consolation prize would be this piece of rock I threw at Darkness!”
“Ahhh! That’s cheating! Using such a method!”
I protest loudly when I saw the rock Chris took out.
I was wondering why she was so confident, so that’s the reason!
If she had more trash items, the probability of important items getting stolen would be lower, a sort of safeguard against thieves.
“This is my teaching fee. As you can see, no skills are all powerful. You learned something great right? Alright, give it a go!”
Damn, I was really schooled!
Looking at Chris laughing out loud, I felt I was foolish to fall for this trick.
This is not Japan, but a dog eat dog world.
It is the fault of those who are naive enough to be tricked.
But it was just the chance of winning falling, it’s not a total loss.
“Alright, watch this! My luck had always been good! ‘Steal’!”
As I shouted, my outreached right hand grabbed something.
She said the chance of success was dependent on the luck stat. To succeed in one try, my luck wasn’t too bad.
I opened my hand and looked at what I stole…
“… What is this?”
It was a piece of white cloth.
I took the cloth with both hands and raised to the sun for a better look…
“Yahoo–! It’s the grand prize, and it’s a big one—!”
“No–! Return my panties to me–!”
Chris pulled down her skirt as she screamed with tears in her eyes.
After learning the skills, I returned to the bar and found it to be lively.
“Aqua sama, one more time! I am willing to pay for it, could you perform ‘beauties of nature’ once more?”
“Fool, Aqua san prefers food instead of money! Right, Aqua san! I will treat you to a meal, so please do ‘beauties of nature’ again!”
For some reason, there was a crowd around Aqua who looked troubled.
“Talent shows are not things that could be performed several times on request! A great man once said a funny joke could only be told once. Doing the same tricks several times because it is popular means you are a 3rd rate performer! I am not a performer, so I won’t accept money for my performance! This should be the basic attitude of talent show artisan. And I didn’t perform ‘beauties of nature’ for you to see– ah! Kazuma you are finally back, it turn out like this because of you… By the way, who is this person?”
Aqua pushed through the crowd with an annoyed face and was curious about the sulky Chris standing beside me.
Before I could explain, Darkness said:
“Chris panties was removed by Kazuma and lost all her money to him. That’s why she is feeling down.”
“Hey, what is this nonsense! Hold up. What you said was true, but hold on a minute.”
Because Chris was willing to pay any amount of money as she begged me to return her panties, I told her to decide how much her panties was worth.
I added that if Chris don’t offer an amount that would satisfy me, her panties would become my family heirloom.
In the end, she offered both her wallet and my wallet, so I agreed to the trade, that’s all. But Darkness’ way of phrasing it sounded a bit wrong.
Aqua and Megumin was a bit surprised after hearing what Darkness said. Their gaze made me feel uncomfortable, and Chris shook off her sulky expression at this moment and said:
“Even if I was stripped of my panties in public, I couldn’t keep on crying! Alright, Darkness. I’m sorry, but I have decided to join a profitable dungeon exploration party! I am penniless after my panties was taken hostage.”
“Hey, wait a second. The female adventurers aside from Aqua and Megumin is starting to turn cold, please don’t say anymore.”
The female adventurers nearby seemed to have heard the conversation.
Seeing how awkward I looked in their cold gaze, Chris laughed happily.
“This level of counter attack isn’t too overboard right? Well then, I will be back after earning some cash, so have fun in the mean time, Darkness! I will find what quests are available!”
Chris ran to the bulletin board recruiting for members after saying that.
“Erm, aren’t you going with her, Darkness?”
Darkness sat down at my table so naturally that I had to ask.
“… Yeah. People with the same vanguard class as me could be found anywhere. Although thieves are essential for dungeon exploration, it wasn’t too popular with others. There are many teams that wants to recruit Chris.”
I see, Aqua said that Arch Priests were rare and wanted by every party, so the treatment each job received are different.
A short while later, Chris probably found a pick up group and left the guild with a few adventurers.
Chris waved at us before heading off.
“It’s already evening, Chris and her party are going to explore the dungeons now?”
“The best time to go dungeon diving is early in the morning. So most people would set off one day earlier like them, and make camp before the dungeon until morning. There are even merchants operating with these adventurers as their target market. How was it? Did you learn any skills?”
Hearing Megumin said that, I smiled confidently.
“Hmmp, why not take a look? Take this, ‘steal’!”
I shouted and reached towards Megumin with my right hand, grabbing a black cloth tightly.
That’s right, it was panties.
“… What happened? After your level and stats increased, you had changed jobs from an adventurer to a pervert? Erm… It feels cold below, please return my panties to me…”
“Str, strange? Why is this, it shouldn’t be like this… It should be a skill that steals something at random!”
I hurriedly returned the panties to Megumin under the glare of the females around me that was getting colder. Someone suddenly slam the table.
That was Darkness who suddenly knocked the chair away and stood up.
Her eyes were sparkling for some reason…
“I was right! To stripped the panties of a young girl with so many people watching, you really are the worst…! Please…! Please let me join this party!”
Darkness’ face turned red and her body trembled when she heard my unhesitant reply.
What should I do. I wasn’t very sure, but this female knight is definitely a bad type.
Aqua and Megumin seemed curious about Darkness…
“Nah, who is this person Kazuma? Was she the one who came for the interview while Megumin and I went to shower?”
“Hold on, this lady is a crusader. There is no reason to reject her right?”
The two of them started talking nonsense as they stare at Darkness.
This is bad… And I remember rejecting her yesterday too.
I didn’t want these two to meet Darkness…
… Alright, I have to use this method.
“Darkness, we might look this way now, but we are serious about taking down the demon king.”
Aqua who wanted to return to heaven aside, I had already given that up after finding out how harsh this world was, even killing a toad was a chore.
Megumin who never heard of this before looked surprised, but I ignored her.
No, wait. This might be a good opportunity.
“That’s right, listen to me too, Megumin. Aqua and I wants to take down the demon king no matter what. That’s our goal as adventurers. And so, our adventures will become more dangerous. Especially Darkness, as a female knight, you would experience ‘that’ if you get captured by the demon king.”
“That’s right! Since ancient times, getting sexually harassed by the demon king was the job of the female knights! That alone would be worth the trip!”
“Huh?… What is it? Did I say anything weird?”
Darkness who expressed her strong agreement made me shout in surprise.
… An, anyway, I will settle that later.
“Listen carefully too, Megumin. The opponent is the demon king. Aqua and I are planning to fight the strongest being in this world, so don’t force yourself by staying in this party…”
I didn’t even finish.
Megumin knocked her chair away and stood up.
She flicked her cloak hard and said:
“I am Megumin! The top wizard in the red magic race, the master of explosion magic! For the demon king to call himself the strongest and ignore me! I will decimate him with my strongest spell!”
With the entire guild’s eyes on her, Megumin made a chunni declaration.
This fellow was hopeless too. Don’t make such an arrogant face so confidently!
Oh no, these two hopeless girls raised the tension even higher…
“… Nah, Kazuma, Kazuma…”
As I droop my head dejectedly, Aqua pulled at my sleeve.
“I was a bit scared when Kazuma put it that way. Is there a simpler way to take on the demon king?”
… You should be the one most fired up, since this is actually your quest…
… At this point.
“Emergency quest! Emergency quest! All adventurers in town, please gather at the adventurers guild! I repeat, emergency quest! Emergency quest! All adventurers in town, please gather at the adventurers guild!”
The loud broadcast could be heard in the entire town.
It was probably amplified through magic.
“Hey, what are emergency quests? Are monsters raiding the town?”
I felt a bit uneasy, but Darkness and Megumin seemed elated. Darkness said joyfully:
“… Erm, it’s probably harvesting cabbages. It’s the season for them.”
“Huh? Cabbage? Is that the name of some monster?”
After expressing my thoughts, Megumin and Darkness looked at me pitifully for unknown reasons.
“Cabbage is something round, green and edible.”
“It is crunchy and refreshing, a delicious vegetable.”
“I know that! Then what is happening? The guild said there is an emergency quest, so the farmers need help from the adventurers?”
It seemed weird for me who was working as a construction worker recently to say this, but I didn’t come here to farm.
“Ahh… Kazuma probably doesn’t know? Let me tell you, the cabbages of this world…”
Aqua adopted an apologetic pose and was about to tell me something when the guild staff interrupted her and explained to all the adventurers in the building.
“I apologize for gathering everyone on such short notice! I think everyone should know the emergency is because of the cabbages! It is time to harvest cabbages this year! The quality of the cabbages are great this year, each one is worth 10,000 Eric! We have already evacuated the residents. So please harvest more cabbages and turn them in here! Please take care of your own safety and don’t get hurt from the cabbages counter attack! Also, because of the large amount of people and bounty, the reward would be given out at a later date!”
… What did this staff said?
The sound of cheers erupted outside the adventurers guild.
I didn’t knew what happened, so I squeezed into the crowd outside to take a look. Green objects were flying all over town.
As I stood on the spot, amazed by this ridiculous sight, Aqua came over to my side and continued her explanation:
“The cabbages of this world can fly. When their taste ripens during harvest time, they flies through cities, plains, the continent and to the ocean, unwilling to be eaten. If that is the case, we should get more cabbages and eat them while they are still delicious.”
“Can I go back to the stables and sleep?”
As I mumbled softly, the brave adventurers charges out in high spirits.
They must be hot blooded guys who were inspired by the cabbages who did their best to live for the moment.
As I watch the adventurers chased after the cabbages whole heartedly, I prayed.
… What grave sin did I commit that I have to fight to the death with cabbages here.
… I want to go back to Japan.
I took a bite of the fried cabbages sold here.
“Why does a mere cabbage taste so good. I don’t get it, I don’t get it.”
The cabbage hunt quest ended and the entire town started serving dishes made from cabbages.
It was great profit, so I joined the cabbage hunt quest in the end, but I still regretted it a little.
I didn’t come to this different world to battle cabbages.
“You are skilled, Darkness! As expected of a crusader! The cabbages couldn’t break through your iron wall defense no matter what they did.”
“No, I didn’t do much, I am just really tough. I am clumsy and slow, so I can’t really hit my target, my only strong point was shielding others… Megumin has impressive offense. You took out the horde of monsters that was chasing the cabbages right into town with just one explosion attack. All the other adventurers were shocked.”
“Kuku, no one could stand up to the power of my explosive magic… But Kazuma was the most active one. He picked me up after I exhausted my mana and carried me back.”
“… Yeah, when I was surrounded by cabbages and monsters, Kazuma showed up and captured all the cabbages attacking me, thank you for rescuing me.”
“Indeed, erasing your presence with ‘hide’, grasping the movement of the cabbage with ‘sense enemy’ and surprising them with ‘steal’ from behind. That was just like an outstanding assassin.”
Aqua finally finished her cabbages and casually placed her plate on the table.
The useless goddess who chased the cabbages without a plan and didn’t perform too well wiped her mouth gracefully and said:
“Kazuma… With my authority, I grant you the title ‘elegant cabbage thief’.”
“Shut up! I will slap you if you call me that! Ah… enough, why did things turn out this way!”
I hugged my head and rest it on the table.
This is bad.
“Well then… I am Darkness, a crusader. Theoretically, my weapon is a 2-handed sword, but don’t count on it too much. I am clumsy with my hands and tend to miss. But I am good at being a tank, so please take care of me.”
That’s right, we got another companion officially.
Aqua smiled leisurely, she looked pleased.
“… Hmmp, our party is becoming great. I am an arch priest, Megumin is a arch wizard. And we have the defensive specialist vanguard, crusader Darkness. 3 out of 4 members having top tier jobs are rare, Kazuma! Do you know how lucky you are? You have to be grateful okay?”
A wizard that could only use one spell a day, a vanguard that couldn’t hit anyone and a priest that was dumb, had bad luck and was totally useless!
During the cabbage hunt quest, Darkness, Aqua and Megumin hit it off, so they wanted Darkness to join the team too.
If she was normal, I would have no reason to reject.
And she was also a beauty.
But Darkness couldn’t hit her target at all.
Although she was a looker.
She put all her skill points into defensive skills, so normal skills learned by vanguards such as ‘2-hand sword’ or skills that raised her proficiency with weapons were ignored.
She had an appearance of a cool beauty, so it was a pity.
And this crusader loved to charge into the midst of a group of monsters for some reasons.
As a crusader who defends the weak, having a stronger calling than others to protect others was a good thing…
“Ugh… Ah, the feeling of being ravaged by cabbage and monsters is unbearable… I am the only orthodox vanguard in this party, so don’t hold back, use me as a bait or shield. If it is necessary, you can even cut me off as a sacrifice… Hmmm! Just, just imagining that made me tremble in excitement…!”
Darkness’ face was blushing as she shivered slightly.
… That’s how this fellow was.
A super masochist.
She looked like a cool beauty, but she was just a pervert in my eyes.
“Well then, Kazuma. I will probably… No, I will definitely be a bother to you, so don’t hold back and lecture me viciously. Please take care of me from now on.”
A arch priest that could use all sorts of healing spells, and a arch wizard that could use the strongest spell.
And a crusader with iron wall like defense.
It seemed to be a perfect formation, but I feel things would be tough on me in the future.
My level is now 6.
This meant I rose two level during the cabbage hunt.
I only captured them and didn’t defeat them, so why did my level rose?
And why do the cabbage yield so much experience points?
There are too many things to retort, so I skipped it since it would be a pain.
You lose if you took issue with too many things with this world.
One head of cabbage was worth 10,000 Eris. The bounty was so high because eating fresh cabbage grants you experience points.
This meant the rich adventurers could get stronger just by eating vegetables.
With the raise in level, my skill points also increased.
As for why such a RPG like phenomenon happened with the increase in level, I would probably lose sleep if I am too concerned with it, so I decided to ignore it.
I had to say it again, you lose if you took issue with such things.
My skill points were 2.
I looked for the wizard and swordsman from another party I met during the cabbage hunt, and asked them to teach me ‘One-handed sword’ and ‘basic spells’ skill.
Each skill cost a point.
One handed skill raised proficiency with one handed sword.
My swordsmanship is now on par with normal people.
Although I used up my points, I had always wanted to learn sword and of course magic.
Anyone would had wanted to learn magic in after coming to this magical world.
With basic spells, I could use elemental magic like fire, water, earth and wind, although they were simple spells.
By the way, basic spells don’t have offensive magic, so most wizards will skip basic spells and conserve their skill points for intermediate spells.
But it would take 10 points to learn intermediate spells.
Since it would take that much points, I should give up learning offensive spells since my magic stat was low anyway.
There were people who were born with skill points, which were totally dependent on talent.
For great talents that could choose top tier jobs right from the beginning, it wasn’t strange for them to start out with dozens of skill points.
Aqua aside, Megumin and Darkness was probably privileged from the very beginning.
But in contrast, I had 0 skill points at level 1.
… I will get more depressed if I thought about it too much, so I should probably stop.
After learning skills, I looked more like an adventurer.
What was left is getting some proper gears.
I would wear clothes purchased in this world some times, but my current equipment was just the gym clothes I started out with and a short sword.
I want some armor, even if it was just leather.
“… Why do I have to tag along and shop with you?”
I brought the complaining Aqua along to the armor shop.
“No, you should prepare some equipment too. I might only have my gym clothes, but you are about the same right? Your only equipment is that flimsy hagoromo right?”
Aqua was dressed the same way as she did when she first came to this world with me.
The light purple translucent hagoromo complements Aqua’s blue hair and eyes. That was the only equipment she wore over her clothes.
After changing into her pajamas, she would use a bucket of water to wash her hagoromo, I had seen her sunning the hagoromo along with the hay that was drying in the sun.
Aqua said in surprise:
“Don’t be stupid– I think you had forgotten that I am a goddess! This hagoromo is a holy relic. It could defend against abnormal status and had great durability. It is enchanted with all sorts of magic, a precious artifact! There are no other equipment better than this!”
I felt like telling her not to dry this along with the hay.
“That’s great news. If we really couldn’t make ends meet, we could pawn off your holy relic… Oh, this chest armor looks neat, although it is made of leather.”
“… Ka, Kazuma, you are joking right? This hagoromo is proof of my divinity! You, you won’t really sell it right? Nah? I, I won’t allow it!”
“… Ooo, I almost couldn’t recognize you.”
“Woah– Kazuma finally look the part of an adventurer.”
Coming to our meeting point which is the adventurers guild, Darkness and Megumin commented on my attire.
If I didn’t look like an adventurer before, did I look like a suspicious character… I felt like finding out.
Right now, I am wearing the costume of this world, with leather chest armor and metallic gauntlets and shin guard.
Aqua complained that my gym clothes clashes with the fantasy setting of this world, so I brought some new clothes a couple of days ago.
I was told that it was more convenient to leave one hand free to use magic skills.
Even though it was just basic spells, I still learnt magic, so I decided to forgo the shield and use a single edge sword in the style of a magic swordsman.
I used half of the money I won in the bet against Chris, but the other half was enough for me to get by for another week or two.
Since I prepared the equipment and learnt skills, I felt like taking on a quest.
I told everyone my thoughts, and Darkness nodded in agreement.
“Now is the mating season of the giant toad and they have been showing up near town, how about…”
“No toads!” x2
Darkness was rejected by Aqua and Megumin.
“…Why not? Toads fear blades and are easy to take down, their sole mode of attack is grabbing prey with its tongue. The defeated toad meat could be sold for easy money. I heard that you might get eaten if your equipment is too weak, but since toad hates metal, Kazuma should be safe with his current equipment. I will protect Aqua and Megumin.”
“Eh… The two of them were eaten by toads before, so they have some psychological barrier. They were eaten head first in one gulp, covering them with slime, so it couldn’t be helped. Let’s find another quest.”
Darkness’ face turned slightly red after hearing my explanation for some reason.
“… Eaten head first in one gulp… covered in slime…”
“… Did that make you excited?”
Darkness averted her eyes and answered with a red face, making me uneasy.
Would she hunt toads alone if I took my eyes off her?
“The emergency cabbage hunt aside, this is our party’s first quest. Let’s pick something easy to complete.”
Megumin and Darkness went to the bulletin board after hearing my suggestion.
Aqua seemed to be looking down on me after hearing what I said:
“What an introverted hikineet… Only Kazuma has the weakest job, so I understand why you are being cautious. But including me, the other members have top tier jobs! We should take on a bunch of high difficulty jobs and make lots of money, level up like crazy and take down the demon king easily! That’s why, we should take on difficult quests!”
“… I really don’t want to say this… But you had not been of use so far.”
Aqua was stunned by what I said.
I ignored her and carried on:
“Normally, you should be giving me powerful abilities or equipment, allowing me to live here without worries. I know that this is a free service provided by the gods, so I didn’t want to complain. I was blinded by rage back then, but choosing you instead of an ability was my fault! But you are here in place of those abilities or equipment, but are you performing on par with these special abilities or equipment? Have you? You were acting so great and confident in the beginning, but have totally not been of use, a former something.”
“Ugh… No, not former, erm… in principle, I am still a goddess…”
Aqua looked down but she still argued with me, and my voice turned louder.
“Goddess! What should a goddess be doing? Guide the hero to fight the demon king, and seal the demon king before the hero is strong enough to take the demon king on! And what did you do during the cabbage hunt? You did grab a lot towards the end, but you were spinning around because of the cabbages and threw a tantrum on the floor right? Even vegetables could make you cry, are you really a goddess? Are you really qualified to call yourself a goddess? Your only contribution is getting eaten by a toad and party tricks!”
Seeing Aqua hide her face on the table crying out loud made me feel satisfied over the fact that she was looking down on me.
But Aqua didn’t want to give up.
She raised her head and retorted with pride.
“I, I am useful alright, like healing spells and healing spells or healing spells! What, you are just a hikkiNEET! If you continue to play around, how long do you think it would take to defeat the demon king? If you have something to say spill it out!”
Aqua raised her head and glared at me with tearing eyes.
I sneered at Aqua.
“I am a professional gamer who didn’t go to high school at all, you think I have nothing to say about this situation?”
“You are a pro gamer?”
“… It sounds better this way. Listen up Aqua. I don’t have the special power of the protagonist in stories. But I have the knowledge of Japan. So I want to sell Japanese product that could be created easily and is not available in this world. Think about it, my luck stat is so high even the counter lady suggested for me to become a merchant right? So I think I shouldn’t force myself to take on the work of adventurers, but find another way. It would be easier to gain experience points if I have more money right? There are ingredients that made you stronger just by eating like those cabbages.”
The other Japanese have the same knowledge as me, but unlike me, they have the special powers granted by the gods.
Those people won’t need to do something so bothersome like starting a business, they would stick the basics and earn a living through quests.
What I want to say is that it was hard for me to earn money as an adventurer.
The only quest I took on was hunting toads and cabbages, but judging from the contents of other quest, the rewards were too cheap and not worth the effort.
I felt the value of life was too low in this world.
I did mention the demon king before Aqua, but to be honest, I had given up on that. That’s why I have been wondering what is the easiest way to earn money easily.
“That’s how it is, so you think about it too! Think of a business that can earn cash easily! And teach me your only good point which is healing magic! I want to learn healing spells after getting more skill points!”
“No–! I won’t teach you healing magic! No way–! Don’t snatch away the reason for my existence! You will be fine without learning it with me around! No, I don’t want to–!”
After this, Aqua put her face down onto the table, crying that I shouldn’t take away the only reason for her existence.
At this moment, Megumin and Darkness returned to us.
“… What are you two doing? … The attack power of Kazuma’s words are strong, if you don’t hold back and say everything out, most girls will cry okay!”
“Yes. If you accumulate too much stress… I could take Aqua’s place and endure your scolding, so lecture me all you want, don’t hold back… As a crusader, suffering for others is a merit.”
The two of them looked at Aqua who was crying on the table.
She probably knew she was the center of attention. Aqua would peek at me through her fingers from time to time, which irked me.
“Ignore this fellow for now. But…”
I took a glance at Darkness.
“… Darkness san, you look thinner when you wear your armor…”
Darkness wore a black tight skirt and tank top with leather boots.
With a giant sword on her back, she looked more like a swordswoman than a knight.
She was surrounded by monsters during the cabbage hunt which damaged her armor, so it was sent in for repair.
I became polite towards Darkness who was wearing so little.
Darkness had a great figure and wasn’t too skinny.
Simply said, she was rather sexy.
And with Megumin besides her, it accentuates her body type and size.
I couldn’t help but think that with such a pretty face and great figure, maybe I could close one eye on her fetish…
“… Hmmm? Did you mean to say ‘Are you trying to tempt men with your body you sow!’ right?”
I glance at Aqua and Megumin…
… I confirmed once again that no matter how pretty the face was, it was the personality that was the most important.
“Hey, what do you mean with that glance, I want to hear it.”
“It doesn’t mean anything. I am just glad I am not a lolicon.”
“Crimson magic race would gladly take on anyone wanting a fight. Good, let’s take this outside.”
Megumin tugged hard at the sleeves of my gym clothes, attempting to pull me outside.
“Back on topic, how about choosing a quest that could help Aqua level?”
“What do you mean? Is there such a quest?”
For Aqua, the skills she needed had been learned from the very beginning, so there wasn’t any need to grind her level.
“It is normally hard for priest to level up. They lack offensive spell after all. They won’t fight on the front lines like warriors or defeat enemies with powerful magic. So the best monsters for priest to grind are the undead. Undead are a race that goes against the nature of god. The power of god will cause opposite reaction on them. Using healing magic will make their body break.”
Ah, I did hear something like that before.
This is common knowledge in many games.
Healing magic has the same effect as offensive magic against the undead.
But this useless goddess won’t amount to anything even if we train her levels…
… I had a stroke of inspiration.
When I level up, all my stats got higher.
What about Aqua?
The idiot pretending to cry and sneaking glances at me from time to time might get smarter after leveling up, which was the best way to improve our combat potential.
“Yes, that seemed great. The problem is that Darkness’ armor isn’t ready…”
Darkness crossed her arms and announced frankly:
“I am fine with it. My full set of defensive skills are not just for show. Even without armor, I dare say that I am harder than an Adamantoise. And it feels better without armor when I get hit.”
“… You just said it feels great to get hit.”
“… No I didn’t.”
“Yes you did.”
“I didn’t… The only question is whether Aqua is willing…”
Darkness looked at Aqua who was lying face down on the table.
“Hey, how long are you going to cry, participate in the conversation, we are talking about your level…:
I reached out and pat Aqua’s shoulders…
… But I realized before patting her.
Aqua got tired of crying and was sleeping.
Is this goddess a 3 year old kid?
On a hill far away from town.
There was a public cemetery for poor and homeless people.
The dead are buried in this world.
A hole would be dug and they would be covered with earth.
Our quest this time was defeating the undead monsters that were emerging from the cemetery.
It was almost evening.
We set up a tent near the cemetery and wait for night to fall.
“Slow down Kazuma, I saw that meat first! Here, the vegetable on this side is done, so eat this instead!”
“After the cabbage hunt, I don’t like eating vegetables anymore. I am afraid of the vegetable flying off somewhere if I grill it.”
We set up a hot plate some distance away from the cemetery, barbecuing as we wait for dusk.
We spent the time leisurely even though it was a hunting quest because the target was a small fry known as a zombie maker.
That was an evil spirit that controls zombies, possessing high quality corpse while manipulating several zombies as minions.
This monster could be defeated by a novice party, so we took on this quest.
So even though Darkness did not have her armor, it wasn’t too dangerous for her.
After finishing their meal, I poured coffee powder into a mug, adding water with my ‘create water’, and use ‘tinder’ spell to heat the mug.
These were basic magic thought to me by a wizard I met during the cabbage hunt.
As its name suggest, ‘tinder’ is a spell to light a fire and posed no offensive threat.
But it was an important spell that could replace a lighter to me.
Megumin looked at me with a complicated expression and held out her cup.
“… Excuse me, please give me some water. I feel that Kazuma is more proficient than me in using magic. Basically no one uses basic spells, but you make it looked convenient.”
I cast ‘create water’ into Megumin’s cup.
“Is that so, isn’t this the way to use basic spells? Oh right, ‘create earth’! … Hey, what is this spell used for?”
I showed Megumin the dusty earth on my palm.
There are all sorts of elemental basic spells, but I wasn’t sure how to utilize this earth elemental magic.
“Well… The crops grown from magically created earth are high in quality… That’s it.”
After listening to Megumin’s explanation, Aqua besides me burst into laughter.
“What, Kazuma wants to plow the lands? Are you changing jobs to farmer? You could use ‘create water’ for the plants too! This job is a great fit for you, puhehe!”
I faced Aqua with my right palm and raised my left hand.
“Pu he ahh! Ah–! My eyes!”
A gust of wind blew the dust onto Aqua’s face, the goddess rolled on the ground after the sand got into her eyes.
“… I got it, so that’s how you use this spell.”
“Wrong! Normal people won’t use it that way! And why are you using basic spells better than a wizard!”
“… It’s getting cold. Nah, Kazuma, our quest is to take down the zombie maker right? I have a feeling it won’t be a small fry like that, but a big shot undead.”
It was late at night and the moon had risen.
Aqua commented suddenly.
“… Hey, don’t say such ominous things, what if you really jinx the quest. Our quest for the day is to defeat one zombie maker and return the zombies to dust too. We can then go back to the stables and sleep. We will also go back immediately if anything out of the ordinary happens. Understand?”
Everyone nodded and agreed with me.
It was about time.
We walked towards the cemetery with me in the lead as I have learned detect enemy from Chris.
Aqua words made me worry, but this goddess always say unpleasant things, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.
“What is this, I felt something strong. It should be the effect of detect enemy. Enemies ahead, 1, 2… 3, 4…?”
… Strange, there is too many?
I heard there was just 2 or 3 zombies minions around a zombie maker.
But this was still within the margin of error…
As I was thinking that, blue and white lights suddenly shone from the middle of the cemetery.
… What is happening?
That blue light seemed evil and fantasy like.
The blue light that was visible from afar was a giant magic circle.
At the edge of the magic circle was a figure in black robes.
“… Hmmm? I think… that isn’t… a zombie maker…”
Megumin said unconfidently.
Besides the black robed figure were several fluttering shadows.
“Are we going in? Even if that isn’t a zombie maker, anyone staying in the cemetery at this hour is probably an undead. If that is the case, it wouldn’t be a problem with Arch priest Aqua around.”
Aqua took out her sword and appeared anxious to move on.
Calm down, you.
Aqua made an exaggerated action at this time.
I don’t know what the suddenly shouting Aqua was thinking as she charged at the robed figure.
“Wait! Hey, wait up!”
The charging Aqua ignored me and rushed to the figure, pointing at it with her finger.
“How dare of you to show up here, Lich! I will take care of you!”
On par with vampires, they are the top tiers of the undead.
High level wizards could desert their mortal bodies through magical arts and become the immortal known as the overlord of death.
Unlike the undead monster that rose because of strong grudges, they twisted the order of nature and were existence which defied god.
A powerful monster akin to a final boss…
“Stop, stop–! Who are you? Where did you come from and why are you destroying my magic circle? Stop! Could you please stop?”
“You are noisy, shut up undead! You must be thinking of using this suspicious magic circle for devious means, I will stomp it! Stomp!”
The powerful monster grab on to Aqua’s waist in tears, attempting to stop her from stepping on the magic circle.
The minions besides the lich(?) did not move in to stop the two of them wrestling with each other, and just stood there watching them blankly.
… Eh– What should I do.
Anyway, she doesn’t seemed to be a zombie maker.
Aqua claimed the person she was entangled with was a lich. But the way I see it, she was just a pitiful passerby that was being picked on by a hooligan.
“Stop–! Please stop–! This magic circle is used to sent the wandering spirits to heaven! Look, the spirits are floating from the magic circle towards the sky right?”
Just as the lich said, lots of wisp like bluish white objects that came from nowhere drift into the magic circle and was goes up into the sky along with the light of the magic circle.
“You are acting too arrogant for a Lich! An Arch priest like me will perform such benevolent acts, so just scram! You are taking too much time, watch me purify the whole cemetery along with you!”
“Eh? Wait, stop!”
The Lich started to panic when she heard Aqua’s words.
But Aqua ignored her, opened her arms and shouted.
A white light encompassed the entire cemetery with Aqua in the middle.
That light seemed to be gushing out from Aqua’s body and the zombies around the Lich disappeared when they were touched by the light.
It was the same with the spirits gathering at the magic circle of the Lich, they disappeared when Aqua’s light reached them. The Lich was also basked in that light…
“Hyaaa–! My, my body is fading? Stop, my body is disappearing! I will be purified!”
“Hahahaha, foolish Lich! Your existence goes against the law of nature, an undead which defies the will of the gods! Disappear, be vanquished by my power!”
“Hey, stop it.”
I stood behind Aqua and knocked the back of her head with the hilt of my sword.
“…! That hurts! Why did you hit me!”
Her focus was probably broken when the back of her head was hit and she stopped emitting light. She held her head and scolded me with tearing eyes.
Darkness and Megumin reached here at this time too. I ignored Aqua and spoke to the Lich that was trembling while curled in a ball:
“Hey, are you fine? Erm… Can I address you as Lich?”
Looking closely, the feet of the Lich had turned translucent and was on the verge of disappearing.
The feet slowly became opaque again, and the Lich stood up unsteadily with teary eyes.
“I, I, I’m fine… Thank, thank you for saving me from that crisis…! Erm, you are right, I am a Lich, my name is Wiz.”
After that, she took off the hood she was wearing closely. What appeared under the moonlight was a beautiful woman with brown hair about 20 years old.
I thought a Lich would have a skull like face.
Wiz wore a black robe in the style of a evil witch.
No, since she is a Lich, she was a evil witch right?
“Eh… Wiz? What are you doing in this cemetery? You said you wanted to send the spirits to heaven, I don’t want to agree with Aqua, but that shouldn’t be what a Lich like you should be doing right?”
“What are you doing Kazuma! Be careful you get contaminated and become an undead if you talk to this bad apple! Let me cast ‘turn undead’ on her!”
Aqua became agitated after hearing what I said, and wanted to cast a spell on Wiz.
Wiz hid behind me with a troubled and terrified expression:
“Be, because… As you can see, I am a Lich, the overlord of the undying. As the overlord, I could hear the voice of the spirits wandering in the world. Most of the spirits in this public cemetery don’t have money and didn’t have a proper burial, so they couldn’t move on to the afterlife and loiter the cemetery every night. Since I am an overlord, I will visit periodically and send the children on their way.”
… My eyes were tearing up.
What a good person.
Apart from the counter lady, she was probably the first normal person I met since coming to this world.
Ah, although she was technically not a human.
“I think that is a wonderful thing, but… Although I am not Aqua, wouldn’t it be better to leave this to the priest in this town?”
In response to my query, Wiz was hesitant to speak as she peeked at the unhappy Aqua, and finally said:
“Be, because… the priest in this town are materialistic… Eh, no, I mean… the rites for those without money would be pushed down their waiting list… something like that…”
It was probably hard to say it in the presence of the Arch priest Aqua.
“You mean the priests in this town are people who worship money. The public cemetery which is full of poor people are basically ignored by them right?”
“We… Well, that’s how it is…”
Everyone gazed at Aqua silently, while she averted her eyes from everyone.
“Since that is the case, it couldn’t be helped. But could you stop animating the zombies? We are here because of a quest to defeat the zombie maker.”
Wiz was troubled by what I said.
“Ah… I see… But I didn’t animate them, the corpse that are intact would rise automatically due to my magic every time I come… Erm, I won’t have any reason to visit if the spirits in the cemetery won’t wander anymore and return to heaven… So… How should we resolve this?”
We left the cemetery and was journeying back to town.
“I can’t accept this!”
Aqua was still fuming.
Dawn was just about to break.
“It couldn’t be helped. She was such a nice person, you couldn’t bear killing her right?”
We decided to let that Lich off.
At the same time, we came to a consensus for the idle Aqua to purify the cemetery periodically.
Fortunately, no matter how bad Aqua was, she still was a goddess. She knew that purifying the undead and wandering spirits was her job.
But she threw a tantrum because her sleeping time would be reduced.
For Megumin and Darkness who were hesitant about letting a monster off agreed after learning Wiz had never attacked a human before.
I looked at the paper Wiz gave me and said:
“But for a Lich to live normally in town, the security is really lacking.”
The piece of paper had Wiz’s address on it.
That Lich seemed to be living life as a normal human in our town.
She even said she was running a small magic item shop.
I told her my impression of Liches dwelling in dungeons, she replied that it wasn’t convenient and there was no reason to live there.
No, Liches were once humans too, so I knew what she meant.
I do understand, but since coming to this world, my fantasy about alternate worlds were shattered.
This was not the alternate world I was hoping for.
“We were lucky things turned out well in the end. Even with Aqua here, the opponent was still a Lich. If we really fought, Kazuma and I would definitely be dead.”
Megumin said nonchalantly which made me stunned.
“Eh, are Lich such dangerous monsters? Would it had been a tough fight?”
“It’s much worse than that! Lich have high magic defense, nothing could harm her except enchanted weapons. She could trigger all sorts of abnormal status just by touching her enemies and drain their life and mana, a legendary immortal monster. What surprised me was why Aqua’s ‘turn undead’ had such great effect on such a powerful being.”
I almost lost control of my bowels.
That’s right, she was the boss of the undead after all.
When I heard she was willing to teach me skills of a Lich, I took her name card gleefully… When I visit her to learn skills, I must remember to bring Aqua along.
“Kazuma, give me the name card. I want to set up a holy barrier around the home of that woman and make her cry.”
“Please let her go…”
It would be better to not take Aqua along…
As we were thinking about that, Darkness said quietly:
“By the way, what about the quest to defeat the zombie maker?”